5 Real-Life Love Stories...Including Me and My Husband

As mentioned in a previous post, my husband and I were interviewed by Real Simple Magazine for the February 2012 issue featuring real-life couples and their love stories.  

Image Courtesy of Real Simple
Photo by Gail Albert Halaban

Little did we know that this story was also picked up by MSN. Take a look at our Real-Life Love Story, and let me know what you think!

At What Age Do Children Learn to Manipulate?

Since becoming a mother, I’ve always wondered at what age children learn how to manipulate their parents.  While I’ve never subscribed to the theory that babies can manipulate by crying and expecting to be held all the time (I always hold my babies as often as they need without any fear of spoiling them.), toddlers and preschoolers are a different story.  My oldest daughter, who turns four next week, is such a loving, caring and sweet girl. But, even she has already started honing her manipulation skills.

Is This Sweet Face Really Capable of Manipulation?

Last night we were all sitting down for dinner, when my 21-month-old toddler didn’t seem to be enjoying her meal like she normally does. When I say this girl can eat, I mean it. She can put away some food. In fact, she eats more than her big sister.  

As dinner was coming to a close, I see my toddler growing impatient. Naturally, instead of sitting quietly and waiting for everyone else to finish eating, she starts crying, whining and demanding to be let down from her high chair.  Typical for a toddler...no surprise there. However, at this age, I’ve learned not to jump the second my kids cry or want something. And, it’s not to torture them. I just think it’s beneficial to everyone in the family when a kid begins to learn patience at a young age.  


In any case, my toddler is still learning. So, out of frustration, when we didn’t immediately let her down from her high chair, she began throwing her food on the floor in protest. At that minute, mid-bite what I really wanted to do was yell at the top of my lungs. Instead, I just rolled my eyes, sat quietly and gave the little girl my evil eye while I finished my meal. 

My oldest witnessed this silent exchange and decided to pitch in and help. She started cleaning up the food her sister tossed on the floor without being asked!  My husband stared at her and proudly declared how remarkably helpful she was for picking up her sister’s food. He looked at me for approval, but for some reason I couldn’t agree. Somehow, I knew my oldest had an ulterior motive for picking up the food. Not that she isn’t helpful, but it’s rare for her to volunteer to clean up without a fuss -- particularly when her younger sibling is involved.  

Next, I looked at my oldest child's plate. It was completely clean. She never clears her plate…EVER! And, that night I prepared a new dish she’d never eaten before, so I was even more surprised when she finished her food. Then it clicked!  The little mastermind wanted something in return clearing her plate. And, cleaning up behind her sister was just the one thing she thought would tip the scales in her favor. 


So, after the floor was clear of the discarded food, my oldest joyfully shared that she’d cleaned up all of Tatum’s food. So, she started staring at me lovingly, and almost as if I were talking to a teenager instead of a four-year-old, I just came out and asked what she wanted. She smiled ever so sweetly and asked for candy. How could I say no to that sweet face? Totally manipulated…I gave in, and let her have that candy necklace from the pantry.

After yesterday, I have no doubt in my mind that young children can manipulate their parents, even if they are sweet, loving little beings. But what’s funny is that even when I realized I was being manipulated, I still gave in to my daughter’s sweetness -- thereby allowing her to control me in a way. But, what can I say? At least I didn’t have to sweep the floor.

Dad Shoots Laptop – Is Facebook Humiliation Sensible or Not?

I’m sure by now most people have seen the video of the dad shooting his daughter’s laptop because of a message she posted on Facebook vilifying her parents for assigning too many chores.  It’s went viral online and snippets of it have been covered in local broadcast news. Here’s a link to the video in case you haven’t seen it.

A lot of people have shown support for the Dad while opponents felt he stooped to a child’s level and his rant was excessively violent.  While I can’t really say whether he was right or wrong as I am still parenting toddlers and preschoolers at this point, I do empathize with a parent’s feeling of being at wits' end and willing to try anything discipline wise to get your child’s behavior to change for better.  I am not a fan of brandishing guns, particularly when children are present. However, had one of my daughters posted that venomous message about me and her Dad on Facebook, I am sure I’d be extremely hurt, angry and ready to rip her a new one.  

I think one of my most diplomatic parenting resources, Positive Parenting Solutions, probably offers the sanest opinion on the dad's method of discipline. In many ways, such an extreme response from this father may have irreparably damaged a long-term relationship with his daughter.

 

What do you all think? Do you think the Dad’s actions were justified? Do you agree with how he handled his daughter’s tirade on Facebook? Or, do you think shooting the laptop was too violent? Do you feel Facebook humiliation is an effective way to discipline kids? 

The Rising Cost of Daycare Forces Alternative Working Arrangements

It’s no secret that like all family expenses daycare costs are rising – causing some families to make the difficult choice of both parents working outside the home or one staying at home. With three children not yet school age, my day care expenses would be so exorbitant that both my husband and I would have to be neurosurgeons, professional athletes, celebrities or independently wealthy for us to be able to afford the costs and have a quality of life.

In the article, 5 Reasons One Parent Should Stay Home, the cost of childcare for one child was estimated be about $4,300 per year. I have no idea what market this figure is based on, but in the Washington D.C. metropolitan area where we live that figure is off -- significantly. Just recently, I figured our daycare costs to be about ($30,000 annually for three kids) $10,000 a year per child not including gas, meals, field trips and other school fees. In fact, that's on the low end compared to some other families I know who spend upwards of 25 percent more per child. 

While the article presents a number of compelling reasons why one parent should stay home, money has always been the driving factor for me. It looks like I’ll be kissing my part-time office job goodbye for the next year or two because it doesn't seem prudent to spend $30,000 on daycare. What I will be doing is finding creative ways to manage my time while working my freelance copywriting business. This way I can still earn some money and avoid the expense of daycare for three kids. I have no doubt this will be a challenge, which is why I’m open to any and all suggestions from other work-at-home moms on how best to maximize my time.  


If you're a mom (or dad) who works from home with kids, how do you maximize your time daily? What suggestions do you have for scheduling time for work alongside other responsibilities at home?